THE NICO MASTORAKIS COLLECTION
3 stars
Arrow Video. Limited Edition Blu ray Box Set. 29th July
Greek Nico Mastorakis is something of a one man Greek movie maker, possibly most famous for writing and directing the notorious horror ISLAND OF DEATH (1975), which, like many of his films, features his home country and the various islands as a location. Most of the better films from his career have already been released by other labels, so this new collection is something of a mixed bag and mainly comedies, with various exploitation elements thrown in the mix.
Two films feature on each disc
THE TIME TRAVELLER (1984) (aka: The Next One) is probably the best of the bunch, not that that is saying much!
Widow Andrea (Adrienne Barbeau, who supposedly took the part so she could have a nice holiday), lives with her young son Tim (Jeremy Licht) on one of the Greek islands. He is obsessed with space and things like Star Wars (his dog is called R2). Following a strange electrical storm, they discover an unconscious, naked man (Keir Dullea) washed up on the rocks. He has number tattooed on his back in one of those sci-fi style typefaces.
As he can’t remember his name they call him Glenn. He seems rather odd, and is inordinately fascinated by the depictions of Christ on the cross. He claims he comes from the future – does he really? Of course, Andrea begins to fall for this stranger in a strange land.
The film looks fab on this release and shows off the island of Mykonos nicely. Dullea tries his best to bring gravity to his role, however the whole thing is a bit twee and the final reveal is not quite what you expect.
SKY HIGH (1985)
Three American college buddies are holidaying in Athens in Greece – Les (Daniel Hirsch), Mick (Frank Schultz) and Bobby (Clayton Norcross) – in this rather silly comedy. Whilst visiting the Acropolis, Les is handed a cassette tape (remember those) by an old guy, who is then shot!
Realising they are in danger, they manage to get away from the scary killers, and, getting the tape translated, they realise the KGB are involved. Of course, despite warnings otherwise, they listen to what is on the tape, which turns out to be a new kind of “drug” and puts them into a kind of trance, with their ‘visions’ appearing to be cheesy music videos with dated visual fx. The sor that used to wow us on Top of the Pops back in the day.
Tonally all over the place, this can’t decide just what it wants to be, though being a Mastorakis film it features plenty of travelogue footage and semi naked girls to enliven proceedings. The film features songs by Chris de Burgh – not that that is necessarily a recommendation! Look out for the leading edge technology – a Seiko Data 2000 watch. You know you want one…
EXTRAS on this disc:
Nico’s Self Interview: The Time Traveller – looking back at making the film (23 mins); Nico’s Self Interview: Sky High – talking about the film and featuring footage from the promo reel (18 mins); Dan Hirsch interview on his role as Les in Sky High (11 mins); trailers for both films.
TERMINAL EXPOSURE (1987) (aka: Double Exposure)
Two young, good looking guys, Lenny Hartigan (Mark Hennessy) and Bruce Greene (Scott King), hang around Venice Beach in California. When his photographer boss goes away, Lenny is left with access to the camera equipment and the duo decide to go and shoot pics of the girls that frequent the area. Lenny is knocked over during an altercation with some muscle bound guys – on checking the photos he accidentally took as he fell to the ground they realise they may have taken pics of a murder. Their only clue is a girl with a rose tattoo on her butt cheek!
They decide to turn detective and try and track the girl down which eventually leads them to Las Vegas. This is a lightweight romp – despite sounding like it might be a thriller a la DePalma’s BLOW OUT, and featuring a voiceover narration to make it appear to be a film noir type movie. It isn’t! The two leads are fine for unknowns, there are plenty of semi-clad young ladies and the whole thing is mildly diverting with a crazy chase finale. Interestingly this has an early score by Hans Zimmer – which I am guessing doesn’t feature in his repertoire when he is in concert!
The German title for the film translates as Lenny’s Turbulent Summer. It certainly is!
GLITCH! (1988)
Bo, the lunkhead (Steve Donmyer) and T.C., the brains (Will Egan) are pretty lame burglars. They are scoping out a luxury home waiting for the occupants to leave on vacation. Once they have gained entry, two other robbers turn up as well (a Mexican and Chinese – depicted in the worst kind of racist way. This isn’t terribly PC, that’s for sure). And then bizarrely, a ninja turns up, and Bo and T.C. are mistaken for the owner of the house who is a big time movie producer. They decide to go along with this ruse and run the auditions for his next production. This of course leads to many attractive young ladies turning up to try and get parts in the upcoming film (the inclusion of semi naked or naked females being a running theme in the director’s films).
Other stuff happens but this so-called comedy is so painfully unfunny you probably won’t care, as it degenerates into utter ridiculousness including the use of a radio controlled helicopter called Pink Thunder. Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise and Eddie Murphy are name checked near the end – they should probably sue!
EXTRAS on this disc
Nico’s Self Interview: Terminal Exposure (12 mins); Nico’s Self Interview: Glitch! Looking back at the film and includes an interview with the film’s composer Thomas Marolda (17 mins); Trailers for both
NINJA ACADEMY (1989)
Mastorakis is nothing if not eclectic – this time out we have a martial arts comedy in the Police Academy mould, though not even remotely as funny. The films opens in Kyoto, Japan. Top students Adleman (Seth Foster), an American and the Japanese Chiba (Gerald Okamura) are battling it out to demonstrate their skill and to be awarded the Golden Nunchucks – which have been passed down from one master to the next for several hundred years. Adleman cheats in order to win, so the sensei gives it to his opponent. As the disgruntled American leaves he says “I’m tired of this grasshopper shit anyway”. Which may give you a sense of the level of humour on display here.
Cut to the US of A and in Beverly Hills Adleman has set up an academy to train people in martial arts. Nearby, in Topanga Canyon, his rival is also imparting his knowledge. The film follows a disparate group who join Chiba’s school – Josh (Will Egan) joins so he can prove his worth to his rich old man, there’s a mime (Jeff Robinson) who is mainly just annoying, Philip (Michael David) a James Bond type who has a number plate LC2KILL, klutzy guy Claude (Jack Frieberger), gung-ho gun nut Private George Randall (Robert Factor) in the Rambo mould and two young ladies – Lynn (Lisa Montgomery) and Suzy (Kathleen Stevens). They all play their stereotypes to the hilt as they train, much of which is lead by Chiba’s daughter Gayle (Kelly Randall). You know the “hilarity” that ensues will eventually lead to the two schools doing battle.
You get terrible, low grade fight choreography, with way too many training sequences to spin out the running time due to lack of plot, often accompanied by awful songs that add nothing to the weak comedy on show throughout. This is almost so bad it’s good… almost! An hour or so in there is a weird, utterly redundant bunch of dream sequences. Why? Probably to increase the running time even further.
THE NAKED TRUTH (1992)
Well done if you have stayed the course and made it this far. Yet another duo of guys are the leads here – in this case they are both called Frank (played by Robert Caso and Kevin Schon). You know, because having the same names will lead to funny situations… or maybe not!
On a plane they end up sitting next to a nervous Garcia (M Emmet Walsh) who is heading to LA to testify against ketchup tycoon and drug lord Rupert Hess (Herb Edelman). Unbeknownst to the two young guys, he puts a notebook containing evidence in one of their bags.
When they later realise they are in danger, as they have said notebook, they decide to dress up as women and hide on the bus with contestants for a beauty pageant.
It’s not long before, as a viewer, you realise this is an unofficial remake of the comedy classic SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959). Audacious if nothing else. What follows is another unfunny escapade from Mastorakis featuring the usual casual female nudity. Otherwise there is little to recommend this…
EXTRAS on this disc
Nico’s Self Interview: Ninja Academy talks about how he came to direct the film plus an interview with the film’s composer Jerry Grant (15 mins); Interview with Gerald Okamura about playing Chiba, his life and other roles; Nico’s Self interview: The Naked Truth. About making the film including behind the scenes footage (20 mins); Trailers for both.
Steve Kirkham
